Wednesday, November 7, 2012

21 Days of Gratitude ~ Why I'm Grateful for my Son's Birthmother

Grady Jin: Year of the Tiger



When I read about the challenge for 21 Days of Gratitude that Inspired by Family Magazine was putting together, I quickly got on board.  Modeling and encouraging gratitude, even at an early age, is so important for children and parents, alike.  There is so much around us to be thankful for and more often than not, the daily hustle and bustle pushes that awareness far from our minds.  

November is the perfect month to get start making gratitude a practice and a priority for all members of the family.  There are so many ways that you begin to make daily gratitude a significant part of your day as a parent and it's as easy as sharing what you are thankful for with your family, friends, or even an online community.  


Inspired by Family Magazine


I am grateful for so many things in my life, but one blessing that pops into my head at this moment is my son's birthmother.  Ever since we began the process of adopting my son in April of 2010, the word birthmother has triggered so many different emotions and thoughts.  Here are just some of my thoughts I have about this wonderful women...

I am grateful that Grady's birthmother had the strength and courage to bring this sweet child into the world.  I am thankful that she had the support she needed, in one way or another, to give him his start in life and to make an almost impossible decision.  I think about her often, especially when I see his smile and experience his abundant joy that he shares with everyone that he meets.  It is without a doubt in my mind, that this wonderful little boy most definitely was loved from the moment he entered into this world.  His peaceful nature and exuberant demeanor, in part, has come from knowing that he is loved and feeling that love from day one.



  

In my own experience, when the subject of birthmothers come up, most of the time it is met with curiosity and mixed feelings.  I've often heard questions such as: "Why did she give him up?" "How old is she?" "Do you know anything about his mother or father?" I understand that without being touched by adoption firsthand, others may not know the right questions to ask.  Don't get me wrong, I LOVE sharing stories about adoption and what our journey was like during our own experience. I could talk about it for hours.  But please, keep in mind, these women are special to us - the adoptive parents and child.  For without them, we would not have the precious bundles of joy that fill our heart with happiness each and every day of our lives.  

With those questions in mind, this is what I know and this is why I am grateful for, not only Grady's birthmother, but all of the women who had the strength to do what they did.  There aren't many reasons that a mother chooses to give up her child.  Does it really matter? The bottom line is that she wanted a better life for her child.  She loved him enough to give him a family, a life, that she felt was out of her reach.  

I also know that these are important members of our family, whether we've met them or not. They will always hold a special place in our hearts.  No matter what their circumstances were, they chose life for their little one.  They chose to do what they felt was best for their babies.  I am grateful for that choice, because with that choice came the birth of our family.  Our family tree may have roots in different areas, but the love for my son branches out across an ocean and reaches into the hearts of those that created him and those that continue to care for him as he grows.

We celebrate these women. We send thoughts of comfort and hope that they can have peace of mind believing in the fact that their child will be cared for each and every day of their existence.    

We don't question them. We don't think negatively of them.  We are grateful for them. After all, this mother, will be a part of Grady's life...his identity...his story.  We will share with him all that we know about her, and only him.  Because she is a part of his story, not anyone else's.  So please, the next time that you question someone about their child's birthmother, remember that she is the person that gave their child life.  What could be more special than that?           


Thank you so much for stopping by! If you enjoyed this post, please join us on Facebook. You can even explore our boards on Pinterest if you are looking for more ways to foster family connections through play and inspiration.

26 comments:

  1. this is such a beautiful post! thank you for sharing more about adoption and recognizing the choice the birth mother made to give her son a better life!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Amy. I can't believe how blessed we've been.

      Delete
  2. I love this post! It is puts your feelings about adoption out there.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Such a touching and heart warming post.Thank you writing more about adoption Gina. I don't have anyone that adopted a child in my circle but your posts help me learn and think more about it.xxx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much, Isil. I continue to learn more about the process and everyone involved each and every day. xx

      Delete
  4. "Our family tree may have roots in different areas, but the love for my son branches out across an ocean and reaches into the hearts of those that created him and those that continue to care for him as he grows."

    Such a beautiful reality. Thank you for sharing this, Gina.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Very beautifully said! I am not an adoptive parent, but I do understand your heart for your son's birth mother and your thankfulness.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Wow, so insightful and enlightening. Thanks for sharing from your heart. I definitely agree that they had the courage to bring this child to life is definitely something to be thankful for.
    ~Mari

    ReplyDelete
  7. Beautiful post. I have tears in my eyes. Thanks to you for sharing.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Gratitude IS contagious. This post makes me grateful for my wonderful loving Aunt, her husband and two sons. If my grandparents hadn't adopted her, I wouldn't have those four amazing people in my life.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What a great sentiment, Miss Courtney! Thanks so much for sharing!

      Delete
  9. Thank you for posting this. I am a birth mother that will be placing my special son in the arms of his family when he arrives in about 2 months. Thank you for sticking up for us... We love our adoptive families just as much!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much for your comment! At this time we are awaiting the birth of our second son in just a few weeks and it is an amazing experience getting to know his mother before he is born. She is a wonderful lady and we are so blessed to have found each other. Wishing you peace...you are an amazing Mama.

      Delete
  10. Found this post via Pinterest....I love your birthmom thoughts. Here's what my FB status said the other day as part of my thankfulness posts....
    (we are thankful for "[our son's] birthmom--the epitome of selflessness, bravery, love and intelligence. Who else but a birthmom willingly sets herself up for heartache, sorrow and an uphill battle....all for the good of another? We are so grateful for the way she continues to love him and us."
    Thanks for echoing my thoughts.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What a lovely sentiment and the perfect words to describe what happens during the process of adoption. Thank you so much for sharing them with me!

      Delete
  11. Beautiful post and a wonderful reason to be grateful: both Birth mother and beautiful boy x

    ReplyDelete
  12. She gave you such a wonderful gift! I love this post. It is filled with such love and joy!

    ReplyDelete
  13. SUCH a beautiful post. Definitely started the tears! What a handsome boy you have and he is SO blessed to have you for a mama!

    ReplyDelete
  14. I love this post. What a wonderful gift his birth mother gave you!

    ReplyDelete
  15. You express so perfectly and beautifully. I never know what to say about adopted kids or birth moms either. I think your attitude is such a loving, healthy and inclusive one that everyone benefits from. Your son is so lucky!

    ReplyDelete
  16. This is such a beautiful and lovely post. Thanks so much for writing and sharing it. As I think you know, my mother and father were also those people. 11 years before they had me and 8 years before they had my brother, they had another son, who they gave up for adoption. We have been lucky enough to meet him and his parents and now all part of the same big family. It has been so special. I have seen the decision that my mother and father made be a decision that benefited another couple, their child (my long lost brother, as we call him sometimes) and benefited my brother and I as well. I also have seen other people feel free to talk about adoption and how it relates to their life through hearing my mother share her story, which I think is so valuable. I know that your story and gratitude may help another family, mother, child, etc. to share and/or understand adoption.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Thank you for such and honest post about your experience with infant adoption. What a lucky boy, and so cute!

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for commenting! I love hearing your thoughts!

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

ShareThis